Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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