I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
