it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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