The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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