My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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