Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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