Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
