the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
