Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
