he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
