how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
