I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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