I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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