the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
