i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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