how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
