C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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