I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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