Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
