Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize