My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
