I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
