I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
