Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
