Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
