So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
