Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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