I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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