whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
