Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
