I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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