i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
