the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
