I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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