the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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