I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
