Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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