i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
