do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize