Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
