So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
