1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
