Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
