I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
