I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
