Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize