I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
