HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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