I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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