he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
