I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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