Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
please come you make the beer taste better
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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