i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I AM VODKA MAN
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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