I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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