Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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