She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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