You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
