if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
