i just had sex bonerless
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
