i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
