Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
